Lately I found myself cussing at computers more than usual. Actually, not only computers, but almost all technology I encounter in my everyday life just annoys me very quickly now. Now, for a total geek like me, that’s a very strange thing to discover. I used to really like computers, programming, all the great things you could do with them… and now it seems more like a chore, something I have to do, but if I had a choice, wouldn’t. Even just using the computer, for example to sort through my photos is almost painful since it’s so slow and feels like everything is just getting in my way all the time.
Photography itself hasn’t grown stale or annoying yet. It’s a really stressful job at times, and it’s by far not as easy as it might seem, but it’s good stress. I like doing it, I believe I’m doing a good job with it, I’m getting to know people and people like my photos. It gives me a feeling of achievement.
On the other hand, programming has lately been either for myself (to fix stupid bugs or get missing features), or largely invisible and/or unsuccessful (work). It’s like continually running against a wall, without any personal gain or growth, or worse, just a whole lot of negativity wearing me down. I barely had any time to work on the chosen projects, which makes me feel even worse for kinda, sorta, abandoning them for so long.
Add to that the other blows in my personal life in the last few months, which I won’t detail here, and the result is not very pretty.
I need to reevalute my life.
All kind words and good tips are duly appreciated.
I go through this every so many months, too, especially around summer time, when none of the coding work I do seems that important.
I guess the best advice I have is to do what has always worked for me, or at least, has kept me sane enough to continue. That is: Take a break. Just stop for a month or two, or reduce what you’re doing as much as you can and focus on other things.
In the summer, I like to overdose on novels to get me out of the office. So far, I’ve been keeping a pretty steady pace of 1 novel per 6 days, which might not seem impressive to avid readers, but is pretty rapid for what time I have. Having the down-time is valuable, plus I’ve always thought that having experience outside of one’s specific discipline, even if it’s fiction, is much more valuable than only knowing your work well.
In any case, I don’t begrudge you time away from Habari. I’ve been lax this summer, myself. I really think it’s a seasonal thing. As fall swings around, our mental attitudes will hopefully change and we’ll be more enthusiastic about development, generally.
Taking a break would be nice, except that this project needs to get finished, I’m not making any progress worth mentioning, and then there’s this gem: 140+ hours of overtime, 25 days of vacation left, but my contract ends in 20 workdays. Fun, fun, fun. Except, you know, it’s not.
I’m this close to burn-out.
Take a break and read Harry Potter. All of them. Then go have milchkaffee at Nauwies. Or do both at the same time. Don’t forget to contemplate the white butterflies. It will get better.
Taking a break is a great suggestion, but it’s not an option at this point.
Contract out some help?
Tried that. The problem is finding people who either know PHP very well, or CakePHP well enough. They should probably also speak German so we can quickly explain the project, but English would work. Oh, and they need free time 😀
So I mailed some people, but it didn’t work out.
It’s slowly getting better.
Und dann und wann ein weißer Elefant.